Ramblings from the Warrior's Den
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
This will be part 2 of my ongoing series chronicling the many things in my life over which I have no control. Today's topic: The trees in the front yard.

In the front yard of my house, there are two large maple trees. These trees cover most of the driveway, and because of the number of vehicles we have (and partially because I'm the only one here who still drives a junk car)I have to park my car under these trees. This means that my car receives a significant amount of whatever happens to be falling from the tree at any given time. During the Spring, it's the blossoms. During the Summer, it's a combination of various bugs and bird droppings. In the late summer every other year, we get those really annoying helicopter seeds all over the place. During the Winter, the Avian Nonconformist Society (Non South-Flying Chapter) decides to use this tree as the venue for their Annual Winter Meeting. Given the fact that my car has not had working windshield washer fluid dispensers for well over a year, this tends to become a tad annoying after a while.

Then there's the fall, when the leaves start to fall off. As anyone with a large maple tree in their yard knows, the leaves off this tree are rather large. These are also the type of leaves that have an uncanny tendency to become semi-permanently lodged under your windshield wiper, smearing the heck out of the windshield until you finally get out and remove it by hand so you can actually see where you're going while you drive. Then there's the task of removing the leaves from the driveway when they fall. For several weeks during the fall, this job is the type of task that would frustrate Sisyphus. A couple of weeks ago, I was given this task, and dutifly cleared the driveway. When I woke up the next morning, there was literally six inches of newly fallen leaves. You couldn't even tell that there was a driveway under there, except for a couple of tire marks. Thus we see the utter futility of yardwork while there are still leaves on the trees. At least it ends eventually, just in time for the aforementioned nonconformist birds to arrive.
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