Friday, February 14, 2003
I thought I'd post a copy of the e-mail I sent to my parents a couple of days ago to give them a status report on the house while they are on their cruise. Somehow, I don't think this is the kind of e-mail one would want to see to reassure them of the condition of their house while they're on a cruise ship in the middle of a tropical island paradise...
Well, we haven't burned down the house yet...
...And as long as the contractors we hired to fix yesterday's little mishap don't take too many coffee breaks (I knew that Starbucks across the street was trouble waiting to happen,) most of the damage should be taken care of by the time you got back. We had to put it on your credit card, I hope you don't mind too much. Just don't spend too much on spa treatments and you'll probably be fine.
It's been pretty quiet around here. Jacki has got the base coat in her room almost done now (she hasn't had much else to do since the Jetta exploded into a huge ball of flame for no apparent reason in the middle of westbound 520 during rush hour (you should have seen the traffic mess that one made, hopefully we managed to get some of the news helicopter shots on video). Fortunately, I think spontaneous incineration is covered under warranty, so that shouldn't be too big a deal. There's only about thirteen pounds of paperwork here to fill out for that one.
Things are just about as usual around here, if you can ignore the fact that the entire downstairs is crammed with about twice the amount of various furnishings that should be able to fit in a space the size of the girls' room, somehow violating the laws of physics. There is currently another one of my miscellaneous half-baked schemes residing in the garage, but that should be done and cleaned up by the time you get back.
Oh yeah, one of those guerilla home redecoration shows that have popped up all over cable TV showed up yesterday, and are currently in the process of redoing the living room in some sort of retro 60s style. I suppose the bead curtains and tie-dye upholstery don't look too bad, but I don't know if I care too much for the orange shag carpeting they put in. (Note: You're not supposed to know about any of this, so just ignore the fact that I said anything here.)
Anyway, I've got to get back to my neverending quest to figure out the mysterious secrets of System.Windows.Forms.Dialog.OpenFileDialog(), so I'll let you get back to your cruising.
P.S. Most of this stuff didn't really happen. I feel it would probably be unwise to be more specific than that, because I value my life too much.